Navigating the Minefields of Divorce From a Narcissist - One Path Out of the Swath of Destruction!

Help! I think I am married to a narcissist! He (she) is destroying my life, and the litigation and lawyer's fees seem endless... read more

How to Tell if You Suffer From Domestic Violence

Anyone can experience domestic abuse. Often, there is a psychological component to the relationship that leaves the victim taking the blame or denying that there is a problem. Abusive relationships are about one person trying to exercise control over the other. This can occur through the use of manipulation, fear, guilt, shame, and violence. If you aren’t sure whether your relationship has become abusive, consider the following signs:

Your Feelings and Thoughts

Examining your own reactions can help you determine if your relationship has deteriorated into abuse. Do you often find yourself feeling

• as if you can’t do anything right in your relationship?
• as if you’re crazy?
• afraid, helpless, or numb?
• that you cause your partner’s behavior, or that you deserve it?

These thoughts and feelings should not ever be part of any relationship, and they aren’t signs of respect or real love.

Your Partner’s Behavior

If you have a hard time determining whether your partner’s behavior is unreasonable and abusive, imagine how it would look if you were seeing it in someone else’s relationship – a friend, a sibling, or a parent, for example. Does your partner ever

• criticize you and put you down?
• blame you for emotional cruelty or physical violence?
• act jealous or possessive?
• get between you and your friends and family, or forbid you from seeing or communicating with them?
• threaten or hurt you?
• threaten suicide if you were to leave?
• force you to do things you don’t want to do?

A true partner cares about you and your well-being and exhibits behavior that reflects this.

For more information on a domestic violence lawyer in Newport Beach.

The Price of Silence

So many victims of domestic violence have to suffer in silence because they’re afraid for their lives. It is important to know there is hope to escape a life of abuse when you can reach out for help.

Facts About Child Support

Child support is meant to provide adequate financial assistance when a parent no longer lives full time in the home. These orders may cover medical care, extracurricular activities, or education as well as the child’s basic needs. You may have heard about this issue primarily in terms of battles between disputing ex-spouses; this angle is typically the focus of news stories about child support, but the facts often become skewed through people’s perceptions of these stories. Here are some facts about child support:

1. Almost a third of custodial parents never receive a dime in payments for their children’s needs, even when they have an established court order.

Unfortunately, there is sometimes a perception that noncustodial parents are living a life of luxury at the expense of the children’s other parent. In most instances, this is not the case. On average, child support payments amount to about $430 per month.

2. Men are not the only ones who pay for their children’s support.

While most stories on this topic focus on fathers, women make up about 15% of the total number of parents who are ordered to provide for their children’s financial needs.

3. Child support and visitation are separate legal issues.

These payments are not the noncustodial parent’s “ticket” to visitation; conversely, it is not legal to cut off support payments because the custodial parent makes it difficult to see the child.

4. Child support is governed by tax and bankruptcy law.

You may not discharge these payments in bankruptcy, and while they are tax-free for the custodial parent, the noncustodial parent may not use them as a tax deduction.

For more information on a child support lawyer in Irvine, visit this website.

I've FIRED MY ATTORNEY But She Won't Release My FILES - What Should I do?

I want to fire my divorce attorney. She claims I owe her money for legal services, but I don’t feel I owe her because I was double billed for some items… read more

A Brief History of Child Custody Law

From the colonial era until the mid-nineteenth century, child custody cases were almost invariably settled in favor of fathers. The idea that children were the property of their fathers was a reflection of the widespread belief that divine law decreed fathers the undisputed heads of the household. During this time, our nation was largely an agrarian society, with most children growing up on self-sustaining family farms where their labor was essential for the economic survival of the family.

As the nation industrialized and increasing numbers of fathers left their homes during the day to work elsewhere, mothers took over the role of managing households. Husbands were still the breadwinners, but they were no longer seen as having absolute dominion over all members of the family. The children, on the other hand, began to experience something similar to the childhood we know today; rather than being put to work as soon as they were able, many youngsters were able to play and go to school. Children were now widely seen as needing nurturing, and mothers were the ones who provided it. Custody cases began to be settled “in the best interests of the child” – typically, by granting custody to the mother.

The concept of the child’s best interests has remained the focus of child custody law, but it has taken on different meanings as values have shifted. Through the 1950s and 1960s, divorce was strongly discouraged because it was believed not to be in the best interests of children. In the 1970s there was a shift toward the notion that youngsters were better off being raised by divorced parents than by unhappily married couples. As it became easier to obtain a divorce, mothers were still awarded custody more or less automatically under the assumption that they were naturally best suited to raise children.

In the 1980s, the idea of joint custody took hold as the standard for what was in the best interests of children. As mothers rapidly began to enter the workforce, fewer and fewer were primary caregivers within their families– and they were no longer seen as the automatic best option when it came to deciding custody cases. As the divorce rate continued to climb and family configurations began to rapidly evolve, the courts had fewer obvious answers when it came to determining what was in the best interests of the child.

Today, the definition of “family” is more fluid than ever, and there is even less consistency in terms of what is in the best interests of children when their family structures break down. Courts are still grappling with this question.

To learn more about a child support lawyer in Irvine, visit this website.

Are My Attorney Fees Paid In Connection With Spousal Support Tax Deductible?

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The Face of Domestic Violence

It takes courage to stand up to domestic abuse, especially if you're afraid for your life. A woman from Tennessee posted the results of an attack by her ex-boyfriend to help raise awareness.

Domestic Violence: Causes and Effects

Domestic violence can be present in anyone’s relationship; it is not limited by economic status, age, race, education level, or even sexual preference. This phenomenon cuts across all societal divisions and is equally damaging wherever it occurs.

What Causes Domestic Violence?

Control and domination are the essence of this phenomenon. Abusers often claim that they love their partners so intensely that their emotions – and behaviors – spiral out of control, but abuse is not an expression of love. Some factors that increase the likelihood that a relationship will become abusive are:

• Family history of abuse
• Low self-esteem (in both the abuser and the victim)
• A belief that others are objects to be exploited to meet one’s needs
• A previous history of solving problems with violence
• Substance abuse

What Are the Effects of Domestic Violence?

Abusive relationships are always harmful. While it may feel wonderful when the abuser repents and apologizes, a repeated pattern of abuse is always a sign of a troubled relationship. This can have many devastating effects on the victim:

• Depression
• Sleep disruption
• Anxiety
• Inability to trust others
• Disrupted relationships with loved ones, including children
• Substance abuse
• Work problems
• Injury or death if the abuse continues

Effect on Children

It is particularly destructive for children to witness violence and abuse between their parents. Children who experience this dynamic are:

• more likely to engage in substance abuse
• at increased risk for depression and suicide
• more likely to end up in abusive relationships as adults
• more prone to using violence as a way to solve problems

For information about a domestic violence attorney in Irvine, visit this website.

You Don’t Have to Live With Depression

Many relationships go through difficult times where it feels like you’re alone, but you don’t have to live with depression and grief. Get legal advice to move on if that is what’s best for you and your family.

Qualities of a Top Child Custody Lawyer

When you and your spouse are going through a divorce, working out child custody is one of the most difficult parts of the separation. It takes a special lawyer to protect the best interests of your children, while maintaining your best interests.

Experience and Knowledge

A top child custody lawyer will have experience in divorce and family issues. If you have to be concerned about federal statutes, such as if a parent is in the military, you want a lawyer who knows how to navigate multi-jurisdictional custody issues. Look for someone with experience in family court.

Negotiation Skills

Your attorney will most often attempt to work out an arrangement before the courtroom. Having the skills to negotiate and mediate this agreement saves time and money for you, and helps you get the points that you want. An attorney who is familiar with mediation or alternative dispute resolution procedures can help you avoid litigation.

Reputation and Trust

Other lawyers and clients can tell you a lot about your attorney. A top quality child custody lawyer will be respected in the community and come recommended. Because you are placing so much trust in your attorney, you need to be able to confide in them. It’s important to have confidence that your attorney can deal with the good and the bad effectively. Your lawyer needs to listen to you and your goals. Your objectives and those of your children need to come first. To learn more about finding a top child custody lawyer in Palm Desert, click here.

Access to Judicial Administrative Records

Effective January 1, 2010, rule 10.500 of the California Rules of Court set forth comprehensive public access provisions applicable to judicial administrative records maintained by state trial and appellate courts, and the Judicial Council of California (the council)... read more

Considering Grandparents’ Rights in a Divorce

One of the considerations in divorces that is often overlooked is the rights of grandparents. Questions about these rights have become more pronounced as divorce rates continue to rise and as grandparents play an increased role in the raising and nurturing of children. Here are a few principles to help guide your understanding of this issue.

1. The issue is complicated and often does not have specific answers

Grandparent considerations vary from state to state. In addition, various state legislatures have deemed federal and even state regulations to be illegal within their state. This means that there are no set or universal answers. Often, the questions must be handled by a judge on a case-by-case basis.

2. Different types of rights

The rights that grandparents seek are similar to those that a spouse tries to maintain: visitation and custody. While it might seem that visitation is an easier right to acquire, this is not necessarily the case. There is no federal guideline or constitutional provision for grandparents, and unless an individual state allows for visitation rights, there may be no legal means to visit grandchildren after a divorce. Custody rights are more commonly considered because a grandparent may have a significant or even primary role in raising children. In these cases, a judge may be more likely to award partial custody rights to grandparents.

While no sweeping laws have been passed that regulate grandparents’ rights in a divorce, the conversation is becoming more common. If you have questions about this, you should visit this website to consult a family lawyer in San Diego

Knowing When to Call It Quits

Once a marriage turns sour, there is no telling where all of the repressed anger, resentment, and disappointment will lead. Understand that it may be best to obtain a divorce or annulment before the relationship turns ugly. Put an end to the bitterness and frustration.

What is Child Support Modification?

Navigating the seas of your child support ruling can be difficult when unexpected changes enter your life. Even the most diligent of mothers or fathers can experience situations that make meeting child support payments difficult, if you find yourself unable to pay, it may be necessary to make some changes. Child support modification is the process of changing that agreement to be more relevant with current situations.

Making Changes

Child support agreements are legal, binding agreements between divorced couples. In many cases it is necessary to appear before a judge in order to complete the process. However, certain situations and judges may include a special clause in the agreement that will allow you to alter their payments yearly in accordance to your income and other economic factors.

In the event that you lose your job, or are involved in a medical emergency, it’s important that you promptly request modification. If possible, discussing the modification with the other parent and attempting to come to some agreement prior to officially requesting may help the process move more quickly.

Organization Helps

Regardless of the reason for your request to modify, it is recommended that the requesting parent organize themselves.

• proper documentation
• estimated date to resume agreed payment amount
• income/cost of living paperwork
• understanding of state laws
• understanding of current child support agreement

Making an effort to have these types of things ready when you want to modify your child support agreement can prevent confusion, and in some cases even increase the likelihood of approval. For more information about a child support attorney in San Diego, please visit this website.

Applying for Child Support Services

Child support program services are delivered through 51 local child support agencies... read more

A Good Marriage is Rooted in Love and Mutual Respect

Throughout India, men abduct women, forcing them to become their wives. Marriages governed by violence and force can never prosper. They are destined to atrophy. It is only when marriages are founded on love and mutual respect that a meaningful bond is created.

Identifying Domestic Violence

Whether you are in an abusive relationship or you are concerned that someone you know is in one, it is helpful to know what qualifies as domestic violence. Some of the signs are obvious, but there are many that are less apparent. If you can identify violent behavior for what it is, you are one step closer to getting yourself or someone you love out of a dangerous situation.

1. Domestic violence is physical abuse

Physical abuse is the most obvious sign of domestic violence and includes choking, hitting, slapping, pushing, or throwing things at the victim. Keep in mind that if it causes harm, it is abuse.

2. Domestic Violence is Emotional Abuse

Emotional abuse is harder to identify. It can include threatening, pressuring a partner to do or stop doing something, name calling, and intimidating. Signs could include one partner being overly controlling, one partner feeling scared or anxious, and a pattern of declining social interaction by one partner.

3. Domestic Violence can happen to any member of the family

While statistically, men tend to abuse women more than the other way around, abuse can happen from a woman to a man, within same-sex relationships, and from adults to children. It is not necessary for partners to be married or for adults to be the biological parent of children. Any behavior from one member of a family or couple to another that is abusive is considered domestic violence.

In situations where domestic violence is happening, get safe and get help. You may want to contact a domestic violence attorney in San Diego, visit this website for more information.

California Parent Locator Service

The California Parent Locator Service (CPLS) is available for authorized agencies to quickly locate noncustodial parents and their assets... read more

Determining What Is In the Best Interest of Children

If you are going through a divorce and you have kids with your ex-spouse, there will be a process of determining who gets custody of the children. One of the most important decisions the court will make is deciding who gets custody of them. The court will consider some overarching guidelines to make this determination. These include the children’s current situation, the mental and physical stability of both parents, potential threats to the children, and also the preference of the children. 

One thing that the judge will look at is the current situation of the children. If the established arrangement from any separation between the spouses is working and providing a safe environment with access to both parents, there is a chance the court will maintain that setup. This can create less stress on the kids than an unnecessary change. 

Another factor that the judge will weigh is the mental and physical stability of the parents. This includes any history of mental illness or a debilitating physical illness. It also includes the ability to provide mental and physical stability. This means that if a parent does not have adequate housing or income to provide for the material needs of the children, the judge may consider this as a negative factor. 

If there is the possibility of harm to the children, the judge will be likely to steer them away from that parent. This could include obvious things such as a history of physical or sexual abuse. It could also, however, include the habits of one of the parents, such as drug use or alcoholism. If the behavior of a parent poses a threat to the children, this could be a reason for a judge to place them with the other parent. 

A final consideration with children who are old enough to articulate their feelings and preferences is the opinion of the kids. While a stated preference on their part does not automatically mean that a judge will place them where they want, it is a factor to consider. 

 It may be difficult to distance yourself from a divorce enough to consider the best scenario for your children. That is why the judge steps in to make the final call. Finding a good attorney, however, will also help you understand the process and requirements of custody decisions. For more information on a child support attorney in San Diego, you may want to visit this website.

What You Need to Know about Property Division

One of the primary legal functions of a divorce is to divide property and assets between the two spouses. Here are some basic guidelines to help you understand the process.

1. Different states handle this process differently

The first thing to know about property division is that there are two different ways that states handle this process. In community property states, property and assets are considered co-owned between spouses if acquired during the marriage, or separate property if acquired outside the marriage. Community property is usually divided evenly and separate property remains with the original or specific owner. Other states follow a process of equitable distribution. In this case, the court divides assets fairly, but not necessarily equally.

2. Who gets the house?

In a case where spouses have separated and one has remained in the house with children, that spouse will often keep the house as an result of the court trying to provide stability for the children. If no children are involved, or if neither spouse is living in the house, the court will decide who keeps the house, or whether it should be sold.

3. You can negotiate outside of court

If both parties are willing to negotiate, their attorneys can handle the distribution outside of court. This is often not possible because of the tension between the two parties.

Dividing property during a divorce can be complicated and even painful. Not only do different states have distinct ways of doing it, but many assets, such as a home, have emotional value that transcends monetary considerations. If you want to know more about a property division lawyer in San Diego, visit this website.

Divorce Provides an Escape From Bitterness and Volatility

Every relationship is prone to arguments and disagreements. However, when the fights prove volatile and endless, perhaps it is time to terminate the relationship. Divorces allow couples to avoid the descent into bitterness and bring an end to the constant tears and shouts.

What Is a Restraining Order?

A restraining order is a court order that protects you against abuse and harassment. It essentially orders a person not to do certain behaviors against you or your property. If the person does not follow the order, there are legal consequences for their behavior that can be enforced by a judge. There are both civil and criminal restraining orders and they each offer different types of protection.

Types of Restraining Orders

There are typically three different types of restraining orders:

• Temporary (TRO) – This is the type of order that you get when you apply. It’s a short term order, lasting less than a month. It provides protection until a court hearing can be held.
• Emergency Protective Order – This order can be issued very quickly and goes into effect immediately. Typically it is issued when a police officer responds to a domestic violence case. They can call a judge and ask for it. It usually only lasts a week, but it gives you time to apply for a temporary and permanent order.
• Permanent Restraining Order – This type of order can be in effect for months or years. You do have to appear before the judge to obtain this type of protection, and the person who is being restrained will be allowed to speak to the judge as well.

Getting a restraining order is step in protecting yourself and your children. Please don’t hesitate to obtain one if you are in danger. Although a police report is evidence that one is required, you do not need a police report to obtain a restraining order.

To learn more about obtaining a restraining order and child support attorney in Palm Desert, click here.

Compromise of Arrears Program (COAP)

COAP is a program for eligible noncustodial parents (NCPs) to reduce the past-due child support they owe to the government... read more

Choosing a Family Lawyer

Many times, people don’t think about needing a family lawyer until the situation is out of hand. When you’re looking for an attorney, you may be under pressure and financially strapped, so it’s important to make sure you choose wisely so that you don’t waste time or money while going through the legal process. Here are some tips to help you pick a good attorney for your family.

Before you start to make calls to a lawyer, know what you want. A divorce that can be mediated is much different than one where you’re facing domestic violence or a long custody battle. Determine your own circumstances so that you are not heavily influenced by the expertise of your attorney. Have a list of your priorities to see how the attorney will fit in with your goals.

You need to be realistic with your attorney. Your lawyer is not your therapist or coach. They are there to direct you through the legal process. Make sure that you can work with your attorney on that level. You are paying them for their legal expertise, not for them to be your sounding board about your anger. Use your money wisely.

Choose an attorney with whom you can be perfectly honest and up front. You may have things that are embarrassing to discuss, but you have to let them know so that they can prepare. Your attorney is not there to judge, but to protect your interests, and that of your children.

Make sure that your attorney matches your goals. Sure, the goal might be a divorce. However, if you want to mediate the settlement instead of litigate, your attorney needs to be on board. They should also be focused on gaining what’s important to you and not using your children as weapons. Good attorneys listen to their clients, and make sure that their wishes are respected.

When selecting your family attorney, make sure that they don’t make promises. The law is capricious, and while many attorneys have a lot of success, they cannot guarantee the outcome. During your consultation, watch how they interact with you. If they take calls or seem distracted, it is a bad sign. You want them to be respectful of your time, just as they expect you to be respectful of theirs.

The right family lawyer makes all the difference in your legal proceedings. Take the time to interview your selection before signing a contract to ensure that you can work with them towards creating a better future. To learn more about choosing a family law attorney in La Quinta, click here.

Don’t Use Your Child as a Pawn

It’s become too common that children are caught in the middle when two parents separate. Make sure that your lawyer keeps in mind that your best interests lie in maintaining what is best for your precious child. Don’t let your child be a pawn in your divorce.

3 Helpful Tips on Recovering From Divorce

Divorce, it’s a heavy word loaded with a lot of emotions and complications. Maybe you’re searching for a way to pick yourself back up after being down in the dumps, or you’re about to file for divorce. For most people, even if a divorce is the best step in the long run, it isn’t an easy one. Having some helpful tips to remind you how to keep going can make a big difference on the hardest days. 

1. You are More Than Your Divorce 

Although the end of your marriage can feel like a world shattering event, it’s important to remember that it does not define you as a person. You are more than your successful or unsuccessful marriage. You are a unique individual that brings unique experiences and skills into each situation and you don’t have to let your divorce define who you will be. 

 2. Learning the Ropes 

Following a divorce, many parents feel unsatisfied with their ability to take on their responsibilities alone. Remember that you are transitioning from having a 2 parent household to 1. Adjusting to this change will take time, and you should allow yourself to learn what works best for you. 

3. On Feeling Conflicted 

Many new divorcees feel internal conflict about the end of their marriage. Whether you asked for the divorce or your spouse did, it is perfectly normal to feel a jumble of emotions. Acknowledge when you miss what you had, but allow yourself to be happy when good things happen. It’s okay to feel lots of different emotions at once. 

To learn more about a divorce lawyer in San Diego, please visit this website.

Local Child Support Agency (LCSA) Offices

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